Sunday, September 19, 2010

Songs/Hymns that spoke to my soul

One particular day during my internship working in orphanages, I was able to help several older women carry heavy bags, up and down stairs, etc. on my travels to and from the various centers. Toward the end of the the day, the words to a hymn came to mind with a powerful feeling of joy. "Have I done any good in the world today, have I helped any one in need? Have I cheered up the sad, or made someone feel glad....Has anyone's burden been lighter today, because I was willing to share? Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way, when they needed my help was I there?....Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure a blessing of duty and Love."

After the internship I had a long year and a half of struggling with the decision of what to do with my life. In the end, I decided to serve a full time mission. I turned in my mission application papers and then felt a horrible wave of discouragement and depression as I waited for my call. There was a women's conference that I decided to attend to see if I could soothe my troubled mind. I don't remember much of the conference except a woman speaking about service, and then the hymn that we sang really hit my soul hard and gave me a sense of peace about my decision. "It may not be on the mountain height or over the stormy sea, It may not be at the battle's front; My Lord will have need of me. But if, by a still, small voice he calls To paths that I do not know, I'll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine: I'll go where you want me to go."I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord, Over mountain or plain or sea;
I'll say what you want me to say, dear Lord; I'll be what you want me to be. Perhaps today there are loving words Which Jesus would have me speak; There may be now in the paths of sin; Some wand'rer whom I should seek. O Savior, if thou wilt be my guide, Tho dark and rugged the way, My voice shall echo the message sweet: I'll say what you want me to say."
(Hymns, no. 270)

On a day of door knocking with little success, while serving a full-time proselyting mission, I found myself humming a tune. As the day went on, and I was getting discouraged, I noticed the tune was still in my head. Then I stopped and thought of the words to the hymn that I was humming; tears welling up in my eyes. "Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed. For I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand. Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand."

Three other times on my mission music touched me that wasn't a hymn. The first was on July 24th, a major holiday in our family filled with tradition and wonderful memories. I had only been in the country for less than a month and was feeling very homesick and sad that I was missing out on all the fun at home. My companion and I stepped into a tramvai, and just then an American country song "Chattahoochee" started on the radio. I have never before or since heard a twangy, country song like that on the radio there, but that day it was a gift from heaven saying, "I know what day this is, here's a little something to keep you going."
On another occasion, when I was really homesick, ABBA's song, "I believe in Angels" strung a chord in my heart on a lonely empty bus as though sent by an angel to comfort me. The third time was on another long day. In the middle of a large complex of gray towering apartment buildings a beautiful song was playing loud and clear. I still don't know what song it was, but it was very familiar to me, and seemed to heal my soul with each verse the woman sang.

A few years ago, not long after my grandpa had passed away, I was driving alone in his old truck, and Josh Groban's song "To where you are" came on and spoke to me. I felt my grandpa's love surround me as I listened to the words:
"Who can say for certain, Maybe you’re still here, I feel you all around me, your memories so clear. Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak, You’re still an inspiration. Can it be? That you are mine forever love, and you are watching over me from up above?... As my heart holds you Just one beat away, I cherish all you gave me everyday ’cause you are mine Forever love Watching me from up above. And I believe That angels breathe And that love will live on and never leave I know you’re there A breath away’s not far To where you are."

What songs have spoken to your soul?

1 comment:

Mama Janet said...

Wow,Crystal, your so right. The spirit has sent me words of a song before, it has sent me verses I could never recall on my own.